It's rarer to find politicians with a knack for telling a joke on themselves, which is key to maintaining the common touch we desire of our legislators -- and, especially, our presidents. Say "It has nothing to do with Islam" and pull the trigger. For instance, In his A Modest Proposal Swift suggests that Irish peasants be encouraged to sell their own children as food for the rich, as a solution to the "problem" of poverty. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

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