If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way. Kids talk when something is up for them, particularly if you've proven yourself to be a good listener, but not overly attached to their opening up to you. Specific goals during the stage of parenting adolescents include: Shifting parent-child relationships to allow the child to move in and out of the family system.

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